Count down

The countdown start for the end of four years journey started in October / 2004... a journey located in the art and architecture college at the university of Petra...

A four years were full of a lot of details, a four years spent there no one can imagine it passed!!! A four years were full of sad and happiness, stress and relaxation, playing and working…but these last 2 weeks are the most hard days for me!!! I'm looking for the faces I used to meet every day in that journey… faces I cant imagine my self without meeting them as I used to do everyday… they became a part of my life, and simply I cant skip that! Or remove them from my world… a world I have built it by my self… with people they choosed to share it with me…

I don’t know what I'm writing now!!! For the first time, I want to write something but I cant express what I want !

There is a simple message I want all to get it… first of all, I never felt that the four years I spent in the university were my best days ever, just now I felt that, and it make things get harder, because simply I wont leave!!!I wont leave a place I lived and loved it, I wont leave a people shared my life with them…I'll miss every single detail there, I'll miss the smell of my college, and the most important, I'll miss the people there I really loved them…

بنطلونه ساحل

من فترة تفشت ظاهرة بين الشباب تمثلت في "التسحيل" أي تسحيل البنطلونات و "التوكيس" التي تعني تصفيف الشعر (بستايل) معين. بصراحة الأمور زادت عن حدها، فالبنطلونات سحلت أكثر من اللزوم والشعر وقف أكثر من المعقول... وكرد فعل من المجتمع، وانطلاقا من قانون نيوتن (لكل فعل رد فعل مساوي له في المقدار ومعاكس له في الاتجاه) استهجن المجتمع من فئة الختايرية هذه الظاهرة الدخيلة لكن دون جدوى ! علماً بأن المقصود بالختايرية هنا هم من عمر 35 سنة وطالع (حسب رأي الشباب).

قرار تحرير مخالفات ودفع غرامة مادية بحق كل شاب "موكس" أو "مسحل" أدى الى مفعول عجيب... فالبنطلونات بدأت ترجع إلى أماكنها المعهودة والشعر صار يرجع لوضعه الطبيعي، لكن طبعاً لم تتم هذه العملية بسكوت الشباب، فاستهجنوا استهداف حرياتهم الشخصية (حسب ادعائهم)... بصراحة أنا محتار مع مين منحاز أكثر! لاني انا بأيد قرار الغرامة على "المسحولين" للتخفيف من حدة الظاهرة اللي خلت قيمنا تسحل مع البنطلونات! وبنفس الوقت أنا شب مثل شباب كثار ثانيين بهتموا بمظهرهم الخارجي وبعتبر مظهري واحد من حقوقي الشخصية (بس بالعقل يا شباب)!

للتنويه فقط... موضوع الغرامة شكله اشاعة بس من النوع القوي، وأدت مفعول كبير في الوسط الشبابي اللي بعاني من السحولة الزايدة عن اللزوم بالذات بعض من شباب المدارس والجامعات مرتادي المولات والكفيهات !

أتمنى أنا شخصياً أن "تفيع" اشاعة مفادها أن هنالك غرامة على كل تنورة قصيرة، حيث أن هذه ظاهرة بدأت بالانتشار بين الفتيات كما تنتشر النار في الهشيم.

One Year Old

A few years ago, i used to celebrate my birthday alone! I used to celbrate it in the deep dark, to give my tears the chance to blow my birthday candels, year after years candles were increased and there were more tears to blow it out...

One year ago people started sending me msgs to wish me a happy birthday like how they used to do...

It's like yesterday, when i celebrated my birthday last year...

It's Just like yesterday when i got her msg... It was kind off diffrent! It wasn't only to wish me a happy birthday... She was like watching me since a while out side my window, knowing everything in my life by reading between the lines!!! I used to write journals, and people used to read it... but she was diffrent, she never ever read my journals, she was finding the secrets i used to hide between the lines...

It's just like yesterday when we we chated for the first time...

it's just like yesterday when we did the first call... Confused... So confused she was... I still remeber the first word she said on the phone (Alo, Alo...).

All that passed just so fast... Like its a dream... A dream made me escape a 22 years I lived, a dream made me celebrate the first year of my life...

One Year Old... Its my agae!!!

13th of january... It's our birthday...

Although yesterday wasn't the perfect day to me... But she made it up by every single small thing she did. From being around all the time even she is away,buy being the first one to wish me a happy birthday, buy singing me everytime everytime we call...

She made up my birthday buy every single thing she did...

Happy birthday to you not you :)

ذكراك

أوراق مبعثرة لي بدأت في ترتبيها منذ فترة... أثناء ذلك وجدت تلك المحاولة البسيطة لي في كتابة هذه الأسطر التي جسدت مشاعري في تلك الفترة...

ذكراك

هل لي أن أعيش على ذكراك؟

أم أنه يتحتم علي أن أنساك؟!

أظنه يجب أن أنساك..

.فلم أبقيك في فكري وأنت من باع الذي يهواك

بعتي الذي باع أهله وناسه لينول رضاك...

لربما لم يتكمن في يوم من توصيل عشقه الى مولاته،

لكنه لم يخن من أحبه وهواه!

ها هو تاءهٌ حائرٌ يحاول أن يتقبل فكرة فرقاك...

لكنه إلى اليوم لم يستطع أن ينساك...

لأنك ببساطة...

كنت أجمل ما رأت عيناه

وأخبث من عاشرت روحه في هذه الحياة

For GOD's Sake

Every moment in my life is a small part of love. I was born with feelings that I am different. I can feel people from the way they live. From the way they talk. From the way they walk. From the clothes they wear. From the way they move.


I never thought that life is going to pass me that roughly, but it did, and it still does. for days and nights I always thought that love is happiness, that love is relaxations, that to love someone, is to make a commitment to...


Days passed me even months, and inside me is a strong conflict, where am I going to be, when will I find my self, with the person I love with the person I care about... "With the person I WANT"!!!



After every end of relationship I die. So I decided to be alone again and again. As me and loneliness we become soul mates. I can't move away from it even for a min.

Before. I was thinking that loneliness means to have no one around you. But it's wrong. Loneliness is when your heart escape from your body. And you start looking about it in your chest. But in place of it you will find your heart giving you a small note... saying "I NEED YOU"!!!